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the days of my life-第120部分

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And if your reasonings are sound; if what you say is true; the reader may ask; if the righteous are redeemed and live to look upon the Presence to all infinities; still what hope is there for you who are not righteous; who are but a mon flesh…stained sinner? As I shall not then be here to answer I will strive to answer now; praying for grace that I may do so aright。 With utter humility; in true unfeigned abasement of heart and spirit I will answer。 Was there not one Mary Magdalene out of whom Christ cast seven devils? Was there not a woman taken in adultery whom He refused to judge? Did He not declare that there is joy in heaven over one sinner that repenteth? Did He not bid those that were heavy…laden to e to Him and taste of rest? Therefore it is that millions such as I; men who in the course of life have erred deeply in some things and fallen short in many; may still dare to hope。 Also who are the righteous? Even St。 Paul speaks of the war within him。 Is it not written that there are no righteous on this side of the grave — none nearly perfect? They would not be human if they were。 All; even deans and bishops; or some of them; have need of grace。 Surely it is the attitude and strivings of the caged spirit that will be considered; not the shortings of the gaoler body; the desire not the deeds; for if it prove otherwise who can escape when the heart is weighed in the balance? To my mind the great sin is not to seek forgiveness for sins — not to try to avoid them in the future。 All stumble into the mire; but of those who elect to wallow there and of those who deliberately refuse the saving hand that is stretched out to them; what can be said? Well; perhaps they may be given other opportunities elsewhere。 As a believer in the infinite mercy of God I dare to trust that this will be so。
I desire to urge; however; upon any who care to listen these three things which I myself have learned in the course of years。 First; the enormous importance of all this matter。 Secondly; the folly of sin。 Thirdly; since it needs must be that offences will e; the urgent need of repentance before in some other life or lives we are called upon to reap the harvest of that unrepented folly。
What is life as we know it; even if that life be not a single volume but a series of chapters which will ultimately be bound into a pleted book? A few breaths melting into the immensity of this bitter air; a few dewdrops sparkling on a single thorn in the great dim forest — no more。 And what is Eternity? Ah! I cannot answer。 Yet I do believe that our fate in the second depends not so much upon our doings; perhaps; as on our struggles in the first。 Surely; then; it behoves us to be up and stirring while there is still time。 For if we neglect the opportunity who knows; as age sweeps on to endless age; with what agonies of grief we may repent that which can no more be remedied; because as we have chosen so we must go; as the tree falls so must it lie。 Even in this world the might…have…been is a thing terrible to contemplate; what; then; may it be in a world that will neither suffer us to die nor die itself? To be cast out to the murk while others serve in honour within the glowing gates; to be told to chew the cud of our unbelief or to eat of the husks and drink of the sour wine of our desires till we loathe the taste and stench of them; while others — among them; perchance; our most adored — feed on the manna of the blest; to endure the reproaches and the heaped…up hate of the panions of our woe; to be separated from those we loved and who loved us; those who have chosen the better part — oh! surely we need fly to no obscene phantasies of mediaeval torture to paint the picture of a blacker hell。 Even if mercy finds us at the last; as for my part I think it must and will; what sufferings must we first endure! — for of this we may be certain; that if in such conditions we should cease to suffer; then we shall be lost and draw near to the Second Death whence we can scarcely hope to rise again。 For the soul; as for the body; pain is a healthy symptom。 When it passes we are apt to mortify and — cease。
Now; like a Scotch preacher; I go to my second head: the folly of sin whereof even here the heritage is of sackcloth and of ashes。 Never was there a truer saying than that the Devil is the worst of paymasters。 If we go against the rules of the game as they are laid down for us by the creed we serve in that part of the world in which we have been born; even when those rules seem not natural to us; we err; and what is more we injure others; which is surely the essence of sin。 For; as I have said; the laws of Nature differ from the laws of God as these are revealed to us (and we must follow the higher Light) — a fact from which I am sometimes tempted to argue that Nature; “red in tooth and claw;” is not begotten of God alone。 Surely the powers called Satan and Death have had a hand in its makings。 Thus Nature says to Everyman who is a man:
“See where She stands with longing arms and lips that murmur love。 Hark to what She says who would be the mother of your child: ‘Seek! Seek for heaven hid in these dark eyes of mine and find all Earth’s desire。 Drink! Drink of the Mysteries from the cup of this rich heart of mine and learn what Life can be。 Sleep! Sleep and dream of naught but me on this kind breast of mine which shall breathe for you alone until the Night forgets her stars。’”
“Touch not; taste not; handle not;” answers the cold stern Law。 “Pass on; she is not thine。”
Often enough it is Nature that prevails and; having eaten of the apple that She; our Mother; gives us; we desire no other fruit。 But always the end is the same: its sweetness turns to gravel in our mouth。 Shame es; sorrow es; e death and separations。 And; greater than all of these; remorse rises in the after years and stands over us at night; since; when our eyes are no longer clouded with the mists of passion; we see and bewail our wickedness。
For sin has this quality。 Like some bare; black peak in a plain of flowers it dominates all our landscape。 However far we wander never can we escape the sight of it。 Our virtues; such as they may be; are dwarfed and lost in the dark shadows thrown up by our towering crime。 True and honest love of wife and child; unceasing thought for others; vicarious sufferings on behalf of others; often sharp enough to sadden; whatever kind deeds and charities may lie within our power; the utter and heartfelt forgiveness of all who have wronged us; the struggles that we made as the snare closed round us; the memories of those keen temptations from which we have escaped — it will be noted that these are ever of a sort to appeal to whatever sin doth so easily beset us — high friendships well deserved; fair fame well won; duty well done; such are the flowers upon the plain we travel。 Yet we forget them; we do not even note them; because of that black mount of evil which our stained hands piled and the icy gloom it throws。 Never; never can we be free of it till prayer has brought unfeigned repentance; and these; hand in hand; have led us on to Faith; and Faith; opening her door; has shown us the far…off glory of Forgiveness; which glory; growing ever brighter; falls at length upon our heads in blessing and; when we turn our dazzled eyes to seek the familiar mount of shame — lo! it is gone。
The third head; that of the necessity of repentance; needs no elaboration。 Of it I have already said enough。 If we have forgotten out Creator in the days of our youth — or even of our age — let us at least obey the cry of His Messengers; and repent; repent while there is yet time。 “The Promises are sure if only we will believe” were the last words of my friend; the aged William Booth — very true words。 And of these promises perhaps the greatest and the happiest for man is that of full and free forgiveness to those who kneel and from the heart will say; “Father; I have sinned。 Father; forgive!”
But to do this we must have Faith。 When Faith fails there is nought but blackness in which we wander helplessly and in vain。 Even our Lord (as I venture to think; and I know one very learned bishop who agrees with me) as a man perhaps walked the world more by Faith than by knowledge。 It
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