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little dorrit-信丽(英文版)-第215部分

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sacrifice。 Liberty and hope would be so dear; bought at such a price;
that I could never support their weight; never bear the reproach of
possessing them。 But with what ardent thankfulness and love I say this;
I may call Heaven to witness!'

'And yet you will not let me be faithful to you in your affliction?'

'Say; dearest Little Dorrit; and yet I will try to be faithful to you。
If; in the bygone days when this was your home and when this was your
dress; I had understood myself (I speak only of myself) better; and
had read the secrets of my own breast more distinctly; if; through my
reserve and self…mistrust; I had discerned a light that I see brightly
now when it has passed far away; and my weak footsteps can never
overtake it; if I had then known; and told you that I loved and honoured
you; not as the poor child I used to call you; but as a woman whose
true hand would raise me high above myself and make me a far happier and
better man; if I had so used the opportunity there is no recalling……as
I wish I had; O I wish I had!……and if something had kept us apart then;
when I was moderately thriving; and when you were poor; I might have met
your noble offer of your fortune; dearest girl; with other words than
these; and still have blushed to touch it。 But; as it is; I must never
touch it; never!'

She besought him; more pathetically and earnestly; with her little
supplicatory hand; than she could have done in any words。

'I am disgraced enough; my Little Dorrit。 I must not descend so low as
that; and carry you……so dear; so generous; so good……down with me。 GOD
bless you; GOD reward you! It is past。' He took her in his arms; as if
she had been his daughter。

'Always so much older; so much rougher; and so much less worthy; even
what I was must be dismissed by both of us; and you must see me only as
I am。 I put this parting kiss upon your cheek; my child……who might have
been more near to me; who never could have been more dear……a ruined man
far removed from you; for ever separated from you; whose course is
run while yours is but beginning。 I have not the courage to ask to be
forgotten by you in my humiliation; but I ask to be remembered only as I
am。'

The bell began to ring; warning visitors to depart。 He took her mantle
from the wall; and tenderly wrapped it round her。

'One other word; my Little Dorrit。 A hard one to me; but it is a
necessary one。 The time when you and this prison had anything in mon
has long gone by。 Do you understand?'

'O! you will never say to me;' she cried; weeping bitterly; and holding
up her clasped hands in entreaty; 'that I am not to e back any more!
You will surely not desert me so!'

'I would say it; if I could; but I have not the courage quite to shut
out this dear face; and abandon all hope of its return。 But do not e
soon; do not e often! This is now a tainted place; and I well know
the taint of it clings to me。 You belong to much brighter and better
scenes。 You are not to look back here; my Little Dorrit; you are to look
away to very different and much happier paths。 Again; GOD bless you in
them! GOD reward you!'

Maggy; who had fallen into very low spirits; here cried; 'Oh get him
into a hospital; do get him into a hospital; Mother! He'll never look
like hisself again; if he an't got into a hospital。 And then the little
woman as was always a spinning at her wheel; she can go to the cupboard
with the Princess; and say; what do you keep the Chicking there for? and
then they can take it out and give it to him; and then all be happy!'

The interruption was seasonable; for the bell had nearly rung itself
out。 Again tenderly wrapping her mantle about her; and taking her on his
arm (though; but for her visit; he was almost too weak to walk); Arthur
led Little Dorrit down…stairs。 She was the last visitor to pass out at
the Lodge; and the gate jarred heavily and hopelessly upon her。

With the funeral clang that it sounded into Arthur's heart; his sense of
weakness returned。 It was a toilsome journey up…stairs to his room; and
he re…entered its dark solitary precincts in unutterable misery。

When it was almost midnight; and the prison had long been quiet; a
cautious creak came up the stairs; and a cautious tap of a key was given
at his door。 It was Young John。 He glided in; in his stockings; and held
the door closed; while he spoke in a whisper。

'It's against all rules; but I don't mind。 I was determined to e
through; and e to you。'

'What is the matter?'

'Nothing's the matter; sir。 I was waiting in the court…yard for Miss
Dorrit when she came out。 I thought you'd like some one to see that she
was safe。'

'Thank you; thank you! You took her home; John?'

'I saw her to her hotel。 The same that Mr Dorrit was at。 Miss Dorrit
walked all the way; and talked to me so kind; it quite knocked me over。
Why do you think she walked instead of riding?'

'I don't know; John。'

'To talk about you。 She said to me; 〃John; you was always honourable;
and if you'll promise me that you will take care of him; and never let
him want for help and fort when I am not there; my mind will be at
rest so far。〃 I promised her。 And I'll stand by you;' said John Chivery;
'for ever!'

Clennam; much affected; stretched out his hand to this honest spirit。

'Before I take it;' said John; looking at it; without ing from the
door; 'guess what message Miss Dorrit gave me。'

Clennam shook his head。

'〃Tell him;〃' repeated John; in a distinct; though quavering voice;
'〃that his Little Dorrit sent him her undying love。〃 Now it's delivered。
Have I been honourable; sir?'

'Very; very!'

'Will you tell Miss Dorrit I've been honourable; sir?'

'I will indeed。'

'There's my hand; sir;' said john; 'and I'll stand by you forever!'

After a hearty squeeze; he disappeared with the same cautious creak upon
the stair; crept shoeless over the pavement of the yard; and; locking
the gates behind him; passed out into the front where he had left his
shoes。 If the same way had been paved with burning ploughshares; it is
not at all improbable that John would have traversed it with the same
devotion; for the same purpose。




CHAPTER 30。 Closing in


The last day of the appointed week touched the bars of the Marshalsea
gate。 Black; all night; since the gate had clashed upon Little Dorrit;
its iron stripes were turned by the early…glowing sun into stripes of
gold。 Far aslant across the city; over its jumbled roofs; and through
the open tracery of its church towers; struck the long bright rays; bars
of the prison of this lower world。

Throughout the day the old house within the gateway remained untroubled
by any visitors。 But; when the sun was low; three men turned in at the
gateway and made for the dilapidated house。

Rigaud was the first; and walked by himself smoking。 Mr Baptist was
the second; and jogged close after him; looking at no other object。
Mr Pancks was the third; and carried his hat under his arm for the
liberation of his restive hair; the weather being extremely hot。 They
all came together at the door…steps。

'You pair of madmen!' said Rigaud; facing about。 'Don't go yet!'

'We don't mean to;' said Mr Pancks。 Giving him a dark glance in
acknowledgment of his answer; Rigaud knocked loudly。 He had charged
himself with drink; for the playing out of his game; and was impatient
to begin。 He had hardly finished one long resounding knock; when he
turned to the knocker again and began another。 That was not yet finished
when Jeremiah Flintwinch opened the door; and they all clanked into the
stone hall。 Rigaud; thrusting Mr Flintwinch aside; proceeded straight
up…stairs。 His two attendants followed him; Mr Flintwinch followed them;
and they all came trooping into Mrs Clennam's quiet room。 It was in its
usual state; except that one of the windows was wide open; and Affery
sat on its old…fashioned window…seat; mending a stocking。 The usual
articles were on the little table; the usual deadened fire was in the
grate; the bed had its usual pall upon it; and the mistress of all sat
on her black bier…like sofa; propped up by her black angular bolster
that was like the headsman's block。

Yet there was a namele
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