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little dorrit-信丽(英文版)-第92部分

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stand it。 The chafing and firing of that girl; the wearing and tearing
of that girl within her own breast; has been such that I have
softly said to her again and again in passing her; 〃Five…and…twenty;
Tattycoram; five…and…twenty!〃 I heartily wish she could have gone
on counting five…and…twenty day and night; and then it wouldn't have
happened。'

Mr Meagles with a despondent countenance in which the goodness of his
heart was even more expressed than in his times of cheerfulness and
gaiety; stroked his face down from his forehead to his chin; and shook
his head again。

'I said to Mother (not that it was necessary; for she would have thought
it all for herself); we are practical people; my dear; and we know her
story; we see in this unhappy girl some reflection of what was raging in
her mother's heart before ever such a creature as this poor thing was
in the world; we'll gloss her temper over; Mother; we won't notice it at
present; my dear; we'll take advantage of some better disposition in her
another time。 So we said nothing。 But; do what we would; it seems as if
it was to be; she broke out violently one night。'

'How; and why?'

'If you ask me Why;' said Mr Meagles; a little disturbed by the
question; for he was far more intent on softening her case than the
family's; 'I can only refer you to what I have just repeated as having
been pretty near my words to Mother。 As to How; we had said Good night
to Pet in her presence (very affectionately; I must allow); and she
had attended Pet up…stairs……you remember she was her maid。 Perhaps Pet;
having been out of sorts; may have been a little more inconsiderate than
usual in requiring services of her: but I don't know that I have any
right to say so; she was always thoughtful and gentle。'

'The gentlest mistress in the world。'

'Thank you; Clennam;' said Mr Meagles; shaking him by the hand; 'you
have often seen them together。 Well! We presently heard this unfortunate
Tattycoram loud and angry; and before we could ask what was the matter;
Pet came back in a tremble; saying she was frightened of her。 Close
after her came Tattycoram in a flaming rage。 〃I hate you all three;〃
says she; stamping her foot at us。 〃I am bursting with hate of the whole
house。〃'

'Upon which you……?'

'I?' said Mr Meagles; with a plain good faith that might have manded
the belief of Mrs Gowan herself。 'I said; count five…and…twenty;
Tattycoram。'

Mr Meagles again stroked his face and shook his head; with an air of
profound regret。

'She was so used to do it; Clennam; that even then; such a picture of
passion as you never saw; she stopped short; looked me full in the face;
and counted (as I made out) to eight。 But she couldn't control herself
to go any further。 There she broke down; poor thing; and gave the other
seventeen to the four winds。 Then it all burst out。 She detested us; she
was miserable with us; she couldn't bear it; she wouldn't bear it; she
was determined to go away。 She was younger than her young mistress; and
would she remain to see her always held up as the only creature who was
young and interesting; and to be cherished and loved? No。 She wouldn't;
she wouldn't; she wouldn't! What did we think she; Tattycoram; might
have been if she had been caressed and cared for in her childhood; like
her young mistress? As good as her? Ah! Perhaps fifty times as good。
When we pretended to be so fond of one another; we exulted over her;
that was what we did; we exulted over her and shamed her。 And all in
the house did the same。 They talked about their fathers and mothers; and
brothers and sisters; they liked to drag them up before her face。 There
was Mrs Tickit; only yesterday; when her little grandchild was with her;
had been amused by the child's trying to call her (Tattycoram) by the
wretched name we gave her; and had laughed at the name。 Why; who didn't;
and who were we that we should have a right to name her like a dog or a
cat? But she didn't care。 She would take no more benefits from us; she
would fling us her name back again; and she would go。 She would leave
us that minute; nobody should stop her; and we should never hear of her
again。'

Mr Meagles had recited all this with such a vivid remembrance of his
original; that he was almost as flushed and hot by this time as he
described her to have been。

'Ah; well!' he said; wiping his face。 'It was of no use trying reason
then; with that vehement panting creature (Heaven knows what her
mother's story must have been); so I quietly told her that she should
not go at that late hour of night; and I gave her MY hand and took her
to her room; and locked the house doors。 But she was gone this morning。'
'And you know no more of her?'

'No more;' returned Mr Meagles。 'I have been hunting about all day。 She
must have gone very early and very silently。 I have found no trace of
her down about us。'

'Stay! You want;' said Clennam; after a moment's reflection; 'to see
her? I assume that?'

'Yes; assuredly; I want to give her another chance; Mother and Pet
want to give her another chance; e! You yourself;' said Mr Meagles;
persuasively; as if the provocation to be angry were not his own at all;
'want to give the poor passionate girl another chance; I know; Clennam。'

'It would be strange and hard indeed if I did not;' said Clennam; 'when
you are all so forgiving。 What I was going to ask you was; have you
thought of that Miss Wade?'

'I have。 I did not think of her until I had pervaded the whole of our
neighbourhood; and I don't know that I should have done so then but
for finding Mother and Pet; when I went home; full of the idea that
Tattycoram must have gone to her。 Then; of course; I recalled what she
said that day at dinner when you were first with US。'

'Have you any idea where Miss Wade is to be found?'

'To tell you the truth;' returned Mr Meagles; 'it's because I have an
addled jumble of a notion on that subject that you found me waiting
here。 There is one of those odd impressions in my house; which do
mysteriously get into houses sometimes; which nobody seems to have
picked up in a distinct form from anybody; and yet which everybody seems
to have got hold of loosely from somebody and let go again; that she
lives; or was living; thereabouts。' Mr Meagles handed him a slip of
paper; on which was written the name of one of the dull by…streets in
the Grosvenor region; near Park Lane。

'Here is no number;' said Arthur looking over it。

'No number; my dear Clennam?' returned his friend。 'No anything! The
very name of the street may have been floating in the air; for; as I
tell you; none of my people can say where they got it from。 However;
it's worth an inquiry; and as I would rather make it in pany than
alone; and as you too were a fellow…traveller of that immovable woman's;
I thought perhaps……' Clennam finished the sentence for him by taking up
his hat again; and saying he was ready。

It was now summer…time; a grey; hot; dusty evening。 They rode to the top
of Oxford Street; and there alighting; dived in among the great streets
of melancholy stateliness; and the little streets that try to be as
stately and succeed in being more melancholy; of which there is a
labyrinth near Park Lane。 Wildernesses of corner houses; with barbarous
old porticoes and appurtenances; horrors that came into existence under
some wrong…headed person in some wrong…headed time; still demanding
the blind admiration of all ensuing generations and determined to do
so until they tumbled down; frowned upon the twilight。 Parasite little
tenements; with the cramp in their whole frame; from the dwarf hall…door
on the giant model of His Grace's in the Square to the squeezed window
of the boudoir manding the dunghills in the Mews; made the evening
doleful。 Rickety dwellings of undoubted fashion; but of a capacity to
hold nothing fortably except a dismal smell; looked like the last
result of the great mansions' breeding in…and…in; and; where their
little supplementary bows and balconies were supported on thin iron
columns; seemed to be scrofulously resting upon crutches。

Here and there a Hatchment; with the whole science of Heraldry in it;
loomed down upon the str
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