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“Tell me where I can get you a glass of water;” said St。 John; “you must really make an effort to tranquillise your feelings。”
“Nonsense! and what sort of an effect will the bequest have on you? Will it keep you in England; induce you to marry Miss Oliver; and settle down like an ordinary mortal?”
“You wander: your head bees confused。 I have been too abrupt in municating the news; it has excited you beyond your strength。”
“Mr。 Rivers! you quite put me out of patience: I am rational enough; it is you who misunderstand; or rather who affect to misunderstand。”
“Perhaps; if you explained yourself a little more fully; I should prehend better。”
“Explain! What is there to explain? You cannot fail to see that twenty thousand pounds; the sum in question; divided equally between the nephew and three nieces of our uncle; will give five thousand to each? What I want is; that you should write to your sisters and tell them of the fortune that has accrued to them。”
“To you; you mean。”
“I have intimated my view of the case: I am incapable of taking any other。 I am not brutally selfish; blindly unjust; or fiendishly ungrateful。 Besides; I am resolved I will have a home and connections。 I like Moor House; and I will live at Moor House; I like Diana and Mary; and I will attach myself for life to Diana and Mary。 It would please and benefit me to have five thousand pounds; it would torment and oppress me to have twenty thousand; which; moreover; could never be mine in justice; though it might in law。 I abandon to you; then; what is absolutely superfluous to me。 Let there be no opposition; and no discussion about it; let us agree amongst each other; and decide the point at once。”
“This is acting on first impulses; you must take days to consider such a matter; ere your word can be regarded as valid。”
“Oh! if all you doubt is my sincerity; I am easy: you see the justice of the case?”
“I do see a certain justice; but it is contrary to all custom。 Besides; the entire fortune is your right: my uncle gained it by his own efforts; he was free to leave it to whom he would: he left it to you。 After all; justice permits you to keep it: you may; with a clear conscience; consider it absolutely your own。”
“With me;” said I; “it is fully as much a matter of feeling as of conscience: I must indulge my feelings; I so seldom have had an opportunity of doing so。 Were you to argue; object; and annoy me for a year; I could not forego the delicious pleasure of which I have caught a glimpse—that of repaying; in part; a mighty obligation; and winning to myself lifelong friends。”
“You think so now;” rejoined St。 John; “because you do not know what it is to possess; nor consequently to enjoy wealth: you cannot form a notion of the importance twenty thousand pounds would give you; of the place it would enable you to take in society; of the prospects it would open to you: you cannot—”
“And you;” I interrupted; “cannot at all imagine the craving I have for fraternal and sisterly love。 I never had a home; I never had brothers or sisters; I must and will have them now: you are not reluctant to admit me and own me; are you?”
“Jane; I will be your brother—my sisters will be your sisters— without stipulating for this sacrifice of your just rights。”
“Brother? Yes; at the distance of a thousand leagues! Sisters? Yes; slaving amongst strangers! I; wealthy—gorged with gold I never earned and do not merit! You; penniless! Famous equality and fraternisation! Close union! Intimate attachment!”
“But; Jane; your aspirations after family ties and domestic happiness may be realised otherwise than by the means you contemplate: you may marry。”
“Nonsense; again! Marry! I don’t want to marry; and never shall marry。”
“That is saying too much: such hazardous affirmations are a proof of the excitement under which you labour。”
“It is not saying too much: I know what I feel; and how averse are my inclinations to the bare thought of marriage。 No one would take me for love; and I will not be regarded in the light of a mere money speculation。 And I do not want a stranger—unsympathising; alien; different from me; I want my kindred: those with whom I have full fellow…feeling。 Say again you will be my brother: when you uttered the words I was satisfied; happy; repeat them; if you can; repeat them sincerely。”
“I think I can。 I know I have always loved my own sisters; and I know on what my affection for them is grounded;—respect for their worth and admiration of their talents。 You too have principle and mind: your tastes and habits resemble Diana’s and Mary’s; your presence is always agreeable to me; in your conversation I have already for some time found a salutary solace。 I feel I can easily and naturally make room in my heart for you; as my third and youngest sister。”
“Thank you: that contents me for to…night。 Now you had better go; for if you stay longer; you will perhaps irritate me afresh by some mistrustful scruple。”
“And the school; Miss Eyre? It must now be shut up; I suppose?”
“No。 I will retain my post of mistress till you get a substitute。”
He smiled approbation: we shook hands; and he took leave。
I need not narrate in detail the further struggles I had; and arguments I used; to get matters regarding the legacy settled as I wished。 My task was a very hard one; but; as I was absolutely resolved—as my cousins saw at length that my mind was really and immutably fixed on making a just division of the property—as they must in their own hearts have felt the equity of the intention; and must; besides; have been innately conscious that in my place they would have done precisely what I wished to do—they yielded at length so far as to consent to put the affair to arbitration。 The judges chosen were Mr。 Oliver and an able lawyer: both coincided in my opinion: I carried my point。 The instruments of transfer were drawn out: St。 John; Diana; Mary; and I; each became possessed of a petency。
Chapter 33
It was near Christmas by the time all was settled: the season of general holiday approached。 I now closed Morton school; taking care that the parting should not be barren on my side。 Good fortune opens the hand as well as the heart wonderfully; and to give somewhat when we have largely received; is but to afford a vent to the unusual ebullition of the sensations。 I had long felt with pleasure that many of my rustic scholars liked me; and when we parted; that consciousness was confirmed: they manifested their affection plainly and strongly。 Deep was my gratification to find I had really a place in their unsophisticated hearts: I promised them that never a week should pass in future that I did not visit them; and give them an hour’s teaching in their school。
Mr。 Rivers came up as; having seen the classes; now numbering sixty girls; file out before me; and locked the door; I stood with the key in my hand; exchanging a few words of special farewell with some half…dozen of my best scholars: as decent; respectable; modest; and well…informed young women as could be found in the ranks of the British peasantry。 And that is saying a great deal; for after all; the British peasantry are the best taught; best mannered; most self… respecting of any in Europe: since those days I have seen paysannes and Bauerinnen; and the best of them seemed to me ignorant; coarse; and besotted; pared with my Morton girls。
“Do you consider you have got your reward for a season of exertion?” asked Mr。 Rivers; when they were gone。 “Does not the consciousness of having done some real good in your day and generation give pleasure?”
“Doubtless。”
“And you have only toiled a few months! Would not a life devoted to the task of regenerating your race be well spent?”
“Yes;” I said; “but I could not go on for ever so: I want to enjoy my own faculties as well as to cultivate those of other people。 I must enjoy them now; don’t recall either my mind or body to the school; I am out of it and disposed for full holiday。”
He looked grave。 “What now? What sudden eagerness is this you evince? What are you going to do?”
“To be active: as active as I can。 And first I must beg you to set Hannah at liberty; and get somebody else to wait on you。”
“Do you w